Reflection: The Quiet Engine of Human Leadership

“Reflection is not a break from leadership; it is how one stays human in leadership.” — Pete Behrens

If you’re feeling the relentless rush of modern leadership—with a calendar bursting at the seams and the “fog” of uncertainty as a constant companion—reflection is often the first thing we sacrifice. We treat it as a luxury or a break from the “real work.” 


However, as explored in a recent ALJ Alumni Global Masterclass, reflection is not a departure from leadership: It is how leadership stays human.


Led by Pete Behrens, author of Into the Fog: Leadership Stories from the Edge of Uncertainty, this session moved beyond academic definitions to frame reflection as a survival tool. Pete approached the session with an “Ebenezer Scrooge” framework—guiding the group through their past, present, and future—exploring how intentional pauses can transform overwhelming noise into actionable insights.


Redefining the Mirror


Leadership often begins at the boundary between the familiar and the unknown. Pete opened the session by challenging the standard definitions of reflection:


  • Self-perception: The literal image we see in a mirror.
  • Consequence: An “echo” or the objective impact our actions leave on the world.
  • Serious consideration: Focused thought with a specific intent.


For a leader, these three definitions combine to answer a singular question: How am I showing up, and what is the consequence of that posture?


Ghosts of the Past: Learning from the Teacher


Pete reminds us that, “The past isn’t a verdict; it’s a teacher.” In Into the Fog, Pete refers to these high-pressure, transformative moments as heat experiences—challenges that define our character. However, looking back often triggers a harsh inner critic.


To ensure the past remains a partner rather than a judge, the Masterclass participants shared several techniques for objective analysis:


  • Context, not immersion: Pete referenced NeuroLeadership Institute founder David Rock to explain that leaders should go into the past just enough to get context, but not so far that they get lost in the emotional repeat of a mistake.
  • The stories we tell ourselves: Drawing on Brené Brown’s work, Pete noted that we often create narratives of anxiety or failure when we lack information.
  • Data over emotion: Andy S. suggested an analytical approach, viewing past results as objective data, much like a scientist.
  • Positive self-talk: Tom D. shared a practice of justifying past actions with grace, acknowledging, “I did the best I could at that point in time.”
  • The growth mindset: Allison F. emphasized approaching the past with curiosity rather than judgment, focusing on a positive path forward to let go of negative feelings.


Tools for the Journey:
A Leadership Reflection Exercise

To help you clear your own “inner fog,” walk through this brief Reflection Exercise based on the guided practices and meditative exercises from the Masterclass.


Phase 1: The Past | Learning from the Teacher

The past is not a verdict; it is a source of context and data. Revisit recent events without falling into the perfection trap or excessive self-criticism.


  • Moment of strength: Recall a moment from the last 48 hours where you felt steady, connected, or courageous. What values were you honoring in that moment?
  • Moment of friction: Identify a moment you felt you rushed past, avoided, or would like to do over.
  • Data vs. verdict: Approach it like a scientist: What objective data can you extract? If you were to give your past self permission to let go of one authoritative voice or judgment, what would it be?


Phase 2: The Present | Presence as Posture

Leadership is less about power and position than it is about presence and posture. Presence turns experience into useful information.


  • Scanning the body: Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Where are you holding tension (jaw, shoulders, etc.)?
  • Feelings as signals: What is that tension trying to communicate to you right now?
  • The "WAIT" check: In your current interactions, ask yourself: WAIT: Why Am I Talking? or WAIST: Why Am I Still Talking?
  • Meta-conversation: Is there an "elephant in the room" or a feeling you need to name out loud to bring your team into the present moment?


Phase 3: The Future | Intentionality over Drifting

Visualization is not about predicting the unknown; it is about preparing your internal compass so you do not drift.


  • Setting the dial: Look ahead to the next 48 hours. Who do you need to be when you show up to your most challenging meeting? (e.g., coach, peer, decision-maker).
  • If-then planning: If a specific stressor occurs (e.g., a plan goes wrong or a teammate is silent), what is your pre-decided “off-ramp” or response?
  • Choosing what matters: What one thing needs your absolute attention? What can you intentionally let go of to avoid being spread too thin?
  • The “how” state: Instead of focusing on specific tactical details, envision how you want your team to be during this next phase.


Next Steps

  • Identify one small behavioral shift that you can practice today.
  • Who can you talk to this week who can help you gain a fresh perspective on your inner fog?

Living in the Present: Presence as Posture

Leadership is less about power and position than it is about presence and posture. Being present allows us to recognize feelings not as distractions, but as signals that something requires our attention. Pete observed that we often rush through interactions because we are too focused on the project, forgetting there is a human in front of us.


Alumni shared tactical micro-behaviors to maintain this grounded posture:



  • Who Do I Need to Be?: Rudolf G. prepares for situations by asking himself, “Who do I need to be there?”—shifting his intent before he even enters the room.
  • The Meta-Conversation: Andy S. found value in naming it in the moment, calling out group tension to bring everyone into a shared, honest meta-conversation.
  • Body Cues: Kumaresh R. uses “if-then” planning (a concept Pete notes is supported by David Rock’s research); if Kumaresh notices his anxiety building, he takes a pre-decided off-ramp, such as taking a break or getting water.
  • Slowing Down to Speed Up: Allison F. uses tools like fidget toys in retrospectives to physically slow the group down, helping them to “be here now.”


Crucially, Charlie F. introduced two vital acronyms for self-monitoring in real-time: WAIT: Why Am I Talking? and WAIST: Why Am I Still Talking? These checks help leaders move from reacting to responding, ensuring their voice adds value rather than just volume.

Looking to the Future: Intentionality Over Drifting

“Without intent, we drift,” Pete noted. In the “fog,” perfect prediction is impossible. Visualization is not about making a plan that will likely be wrong; it is about choosing what matters and preparing for the uncertainty ahead.


  • Courage over Certainty: Andy S. observed that preparation for uncertainty may be impossible; instead, one must find the “source of courage” to move forward regardless. Pete defines courage not as the absence of fear, but as stepping forward in the presence of it.
  • The “Plan” Tension: Tom D. shared a quote from boxer Mike Tyson: “Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face,” which serves as a reminder to set expectations while remaining flexible.
  • Leading by Principles: Kumaresh R. likened leading through the fog to playing chess. When calculations end and surprises occur, you must rely on secured principles—like keeping your king safe—to guide your actions.
  • Envisioning the “How” State: Allison F. envisions who she wants to be rather than tactical details. If a team self-organizes toward a shared vision of how they want to work, the details often work themselves out.

Conclusion: Staying Human

Ultimately, reflection is the bridge between where we are and who we need to become. It is how we manage the inevitable tensions of leadership—balancing authority and respect, or expertise and curiosity. As Pete summarizes, reflection isn’t a break from leadership; it is the very practice that allows leadership to remain effective, empathetic, and human.

Join the ALJ Alumni Community

These monthly Global Masterclasses are designed for continuing education, practice, and peer support for those who have completed any ALJ workshop or program. If you have taken a workshop or program through ALJ and would like to join these monthly sessions, please contact us to receive your invitation to future sessions.